Ok, so Cammie has been telling me I should start my own blog and today I felt inspired so, I thought what they heck? I'll start one. I've been thinking about what I would put in my blog for a while now so, I thought I would start off with some brief thoughts. Steven always tells me that I am a good storyteller meaning in his words, that I am good at exaggerating to make my stories more exciting so I am putting a disclaimer in just in case I might add a bit to my stories on occasion, ok like every time I write.
Anyway, as most of you know I recently had a baby and I have been thinking alot about the truth. As in, why doesn't anyone tell you the truth about having a baby, like the real truth and not the kind truth but, the hard facts of it all. Actually, I find that to be true about a lot of things in life. No one tells you the real truth. Maybe, they forget or something but, I'm going to give you a few examples. Now, some of you may be upset about what I am going to write so if you are faint of heart or naive, don't keep reading. No, I'm really serious, stop reading. BTW, I want to tell you, I love you Steven before you read this! :)
Ok, so here are a few things specifically that no one told me about when I got pregnant/had a baby off the top of my head. Now, these are just a few things and not even remotely all of it. Maybe, I'll add more later.
"Have a birth plan but, be flexible" Amy's translation: Don't bother with a plan because you won't friggin care what the hell you had planned when you are in labor. You won't even know where you are let alone care about your dumb birth plan.
"Make sure you have a strong relationship before deciding to have a baby" Amy's translation: You will not be able to stand your husband after because he is incapable of understanding what you are going through and can never do anything as good as you when it comes to the baby.
"Active labor can be intense" - Amy's translation: INTENSE! PLEASE KILL ME NOW more like it.
"Your life will change" - Amy's translation: You will have no life.
"Take turns at night" -Amy's translation: Your husband will not wake up and by the time you FINALLY wake him up, you will be awake and pissed off, the baby will be screaming and you will wish you didn't try taking turns in the first place.
"Utilize your lactation specialist for breastfeeding help" - Amy's translation: If one more old lady grabs my boob and shoves it in my baby's mouth, I'm going to turn around and shove my big boob in the "lactation specialists" you know where!
Ok, that's all I got for now. Oh, but one more tip. batteries, batteries, batteries! I have my own drawer of batteries. Don't ask, just do it! Especially AA and D and no it's not dirty for all you dirty minds!
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