I'm so excited. I have the proof!!! I've been wondering and nervous and questioning and today I know I've got it, I've really got it!
What do I have you ask? I have the most wonderful, crazy, beautiful, sometimes irrational thing ever!
GUYS, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SHOCKED WHEN I TELL YOU THIS!
I TOTALLY HAVE IT, YES ME, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, I HAVE..................................................................................................................................................................................
Motherly Instinct! I really do! I'm so happy!
I just called Steven and little Stevie was happily babbling and screaming in the background and hearing him made me ache to hold him in my arms and kiss him all over his cheeks and neck and smell him and see his gummy smile. I almost felt sick, literally sick, my heart totally hurt, even writing this is kind of making me feel like crying, isn't that awesome?
I can't wait to go home and you know what else? I just realized, I'm totally a mother now! I'm like motherly and loving and kissy and stuff. I just can't get enough of him sometimes not all the time, but sometimes! I know so queer but, I'm happy and who cares right?
Shlanks, this is what you have to look forward to!
What a great day!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
If Only I was a Lesbian!
Ok, I know Mimi, I have to finish my birthing story and I keep getting distracted. You have to keep on me. I know it's going to be so long because well I'm so long-winded and I keep putting it off and well, I'm putting it off AGAIN!
I promise I'll get back to it.
The other night Steven had his friends over for poker and Christina didn't have the girls for the night becuase they were sleeping over their cousins house and so she came along too with Matt.
So, we decided to party hardy. I bought lots of wine (of course) and lots of food (of course) and was ready to be bad with my big sis. Well, it's so sad ladies and gents but, I just don't have it like I used to. I used to be able to party like a rock star and drink with the best of them but, now three glasses of wine and I've got a buzz on but, for some reason I keep thinking I can party like I used to and then I have too much and no I don't get totally smashed, I just fall asleep! How boring am I?
Anyway, so it's about 6pm and I'm getting ready for everyone to come over and I pour myself a glass of wine to get in the mood and my sister comes and then the drinking really starts because she can drink A LOT! So, I have four glasses of wine and Little Stevie has fallen asleep and I decide that I'm going to put him to bed and then party like a rock star. Woo hoo!
I think you can see where this is going..YES, I fall asleep and I only wake up at midnight because Steven was shaking me in his drunkin state and handing me a sausage sub in bed. YES, in bed, GROSS! So, what do I do? Why, I eat it of course and it's disgusting. I didn't think you could screw up Sausage subs but, you can, honestly you really can.
So, I fall asleep after eating the gross sub and I wake up again and it's 1am and the baby is up. I realize I left his milk downstairs and I can't see because my eyes are all dried up from my contacts being stuck on my eyeball because I fell asleep with them in and I'm trying to pry them from my eye and it's like a suction cup. Don't you hate that? Anyway, I finally wake up and able to look around and I realize Steven isn't in bed yet. Is he still up? WOW! They are partying crazy like. Wait a minute? Steven isn't in bed with me but, someone else is. Who is that lump in my bed? Oh, it's my sister, Christina. SMART GIRL! She got into bed with me before Steven did. hehehe.
Anyway, I go downstairs and all the lights in the house are on and the TV and radio are blaring. Cards and beers are all over the table and sausauge subs are hanging all over the stove! Remember that movie, "Sixteen Candles" when the pizza is going around the record player as if it were the record? That's what my house looked like! JEEZUS!
It looks like they were playing cards and drinking and eating and then just passed out or something and well, that is exactly what happened! I look in the living room and Steven and Matt are passed out on the pull out couch with no blankets, fully clothed. Jeremy is passed out on the chair, no blankets. They are snoring away like crazy all in different order and it's so loud. I turn everything off and leave everything else including Steven where it is.
So, I get the milk and proceed back upstairs and I realize the baby hasn't started crying while I'm doing all this. What the heck? I go back upstairs and there is my sister, sleeping and giving the baby a pacifier. So, I take his pacy out and give him a bottle and fall back asleep.
Ok, 3am, baby wakes up again. This time Christina has him in her arms before me and is rocking him back to sleep. This is friggin great! What help! So, I go to get his bottle ready when suddenly I notice there is a loud snoring noise coming from the hall. What the hell? So, I feed the baby and then go out to the hall to check out what is going on. Somewhere between 1am and 3am Steven got up and then passed out on the floor in the upstairs hallway. I'm not quite sure what happened there but, again I leave him where he is.
5am, baby wakes up again. This time I make it first before Christina and start givig him a bottle. However a few seconds later, I look over and Christina is asleep with a fake bottle in her hand, feeding the baby. She was literally in the same position I was! It was hilarious. Steven is still sleeping on the floor and yes I still leave him there.
7am, baby wakes up for morning. I wake up and bring him downstairs so as not to wake Christina. Yes, Steven is still sleeping in the hall and I try to crawl over him to get downstairs with the baby which I manage, barely.
Now, I have to pump bad. You know how it feels. Like rocks in my boobs. So, I put the baby down in his activity gym and go to pump. Wait a minute! Something is wrong here! My pump isn't working. Oh no! The guys passed out and left the dogs downstairs with free rein to the house and they ate a critical part to my breast pump, the tiny white valve. It won't work without it! AHH!! Seriously people!
So, anyway that is another story but, let's just say. Why the hell do they not sell breast pump parts in the store AND why do you have to order them from the manufacturer directly AND why don't they make a nice cheaper pump to buy in the meantime? Can you say "manually pumping sucks big donkey balls??"
Ok, back to my story. So, Steven wakes up in the morning and I ask him what the heck was he doing sleeping in the hall and he says Matt woke him up and kicked him out because he was rubbing his back in his sleep. SO FRIGGIN FUNNY! and when he got up he started puking so he decided that sleeping on the hall was closer to the bathroom and I'm thinking, five steps more to the bed was too much? Ok, whatever!
My sister wakes up and I say to her, "Thank you so much for all your help last night!" It was awesome and she turns to me and says "what help?" I explain what she did and she say "I don't even remember doing it. It must be innate from having the girls or something." and I think to myself, oh why oh why couldn't I have been a lesbian?
I promise I'll get back to it.
The other night Steven had his friends over for poker and Christina didn't have the girls for the night becuase they were sleeping over their cousins house and so she came along too with Matt.
So, we decided to party hardy. I bought lots of wine (of course) and lots of food (of course) and was ready to be bad with my big sis. Well, it's so sad ladies and gents but, I just don't have it like I used to. I used to be able to party like a rock star and drink with the best of them but, now three glasses of wine and I've got a buzz on but, for some reason I keep thinking I can party like I used to and then I have too much and no I don't get totally smashed, I just fall asleep! How boring am I?
Anyway, so it's about 6pm and I'm getting ready for everyone to come over and I pour myself a glass of wine to get in the mood and my sister comes and then the drinking really starts because she can drink A LOT! So, I have four glasses of wine and Little Stevie has fallen asleep and I decide that I'm going to put him to bed and then party like a rock star. Woo hoo!
I think you can see where this is going..YES, I fall asleep and I only wake up at midnight because Steven was shaking me in his drunkin state and handing me a sausage sub in bed. YES, in bed, GROSS! So, what do I do? Why, I eat it of course and it's disgusting. I didn't think you could screw up Sausage subs but, you can, honestly you really can.
So, I fall asleep after eating the gross sub and I wake up again and it's 1am and the baby is up. I realize I left his milk downstairs and I can't see because my eyes are all dried up from my contacts being stuck on my eyeball because I fell asleep with them in and I'm trying to pry them from my eye and it's like a suction cup. Don't you hate that? Anyway, I finally wake up and able to look around and I realize Steven isn't in bed yet. Is he still up? WOW! They are partying crazy like. Wait a minute? Steven isn't in bed with me but, someone else is. Who is that lump in my bed? Oh, it's my sister, Christina. SMART GIRL! She got into bed with me before Steven did. hehehe.
Anyway, I go downstairs and all the lights in the house are on and the TV and radio are blaring. Cards and beers are all over the table and sausauge subs are hanging all over the stove! Remember that movie, "Sixteen Candles" when the pizza is going around the record player as if it were the record? That's what my house looked like! JEEZUS!
It looks like they were playing cards and drinking and eating and then just passed out or something and well, that is exactly what happened! I look in the living room and Steven and Matt are passed out on the pull out couch with no blankets, fully clothed. Jeremy is passed out on the chair, no blankets. They are snoring away like crazy all in different order and it's so loud. I turn everything off and leave everything else including Steven where it is.
So, I get the milk and proceed back upstairs and I realize the baby hasn't started crying while I'm doing all this. What the heck? I go back upstairs and there is my sister, sleeping and giving the baby a pacifier. So, I take his pacy out and give him a bottle and fall back asleep.
Ok, 3am, baby wakes up again. This time Christina has him in her arms before me and is rocking him back to sleep. This is friggin great! What help! So, I go to get his bottle ready when suddenly I notice there is a loud snoring noise coming from the hall. What the hell? So, I feed the baby and then go out to the hall to check out what is going on. Somewhere between 1am and 3am Steven got up and then passed out on the floor in the upstairs hallway. I'm not quite sure what happened there but, again I leave him where he is.
5am, baby wakes up again. This time I make it first before Christina and start givig him a bottle. However a few seconds later, I look over and Christina is asleep with a fake bottle in her hand, feeding the baby. She was literally in the same position I was! It was hilarious. Steven is still sleeping on the floor and yes I still leave him there.
7am, baby wakes up for morning. I wake up and bring him downstairs so as not to wake Christina. Yes, Steven is still sleeping in the hall and I try to crawl over him to get downstairs with the baby which I manage, barely.
Now, I have to pump bad. You know how it feels. Like rocks in my boobs. So, I put the baby down in his activity gym and go to pump. Wait a minute! Something is wrong here! My pump isn't working. Oh no! The guys passed out and left the dogs downstairs with free rein to the house and they ate a critical part to my breast pump, the tiny white valve. It won't work without it! AHH!! Seriously people!
So, anyway that is another story but, let's just say. Why the hell do they not sell breast pump parts in the store AND why do you have to order them from the manufacturer directly AND why don't they make a nice cheaper pump to buy in the meantime? Can you say "manually pumping sucks big donkey balls??"
Ok, back to my story. So, Steven wakes up in the morning and I ask him what the heck was he doing sleeping in the hall and he says Matt woke him up and kicked him out because he was rubbing his back in his sleep. SO FRIGGIN FUNNY! and when he got up he started puking so he decided that sleeping on the hall was closer to the bathroom and I'm thinking, five steps more to the bed was too much? Ok, whatever!
My sister wakes up and I say to her, "Thank you so much for all your help last night!" It was awesome and she turns to me and says "what help?" I explain what she did and she say "I don't even remember doing it. It must be innate from having the girls or something." and I think to myself, oh why oh why couldn't I have been a lesbian?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
OHHHH It Happened Again!
Ok, remember when I was telling you about those female dogs in my office? Well, it just happened again.
I was helping training biatch last week with some of her bounceback e-mails and I was actually enjoying have a break from my normal day.
THEN, today in the meeting my boss asked her how her bouncebacks were going and she says "Oh really good. I (YES I!) got a lot done. I did like 143 bouncebacks (again I)" and she looks right at me and doesn't say a thing. Like, "some of those bouncebacks were researched and taken care of by Amy" OR "thanks Amy for helping." NOTHING! That BIG BIATCH took all the credit and didn't say a thing on how I helped her.
I'm not helping her again! That's it!
OH GOD! You know I will if she asks me!!!!!! What is wrong with me?
I was helping training biatch last week with some of her bounceback e-mails and I was actually enjoying have a break from my normal day.
THEN, today in the meeting my boss asked her how her bouncebacks were going and she says "Oh really good. I (YES I!) got a lot done. I did like 143 bouncebacks (again I)" and she looks right at me and doesn't say a thing. Like, "some of those bouncebacks were researched and taken care of by Amy" OR "thanks Amy for helping." NOTHING! That BIG BIATCH took all the credit and didn't say a thing on how I helped her.
I'm not helping her again! That's it!
OH GOD! You know I will if she asks me!!!!!! What is wrong with me?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Could it Get Any Worse?
When I say could it get any worse? I am referring to my luck! So, here is what happened last night.
Picture it, Amy and Steven have a lovely dinner at the Carleton household, lots of laughter, fun and even singing! Which is pretty typical at the Carleton household. If you can believe it, I am the least outgoing of my family which makes for a pretty wild time.
Anywho, Steven and I get into the car at about 9pm last night. I did have a couple glasses of wine before dinner so I had to wait a bit before driving. Although, I enjoy my wine, I am very careful about driving especially with the baby. I had to mention that just in case, especially for nannie. I know how she worries about these things. So Nannie, I was very careful.
Ok, so I leave the house and I'm really not the best driver. I finally after driving for 15 years, will admit this. Hesitantly, but, ok I admit I really can't back up well. I don't understand how to use my mirrors. I've backed into many things in my lifetime including my friend's brother's BMW (drove away quickly), a fence (knocked it over and drove away quickly), snow banks (way too many times to count). I have yet to back into any people, so I guess it could be worse, right?
I digress as usual, so Steven was helping me back up guiding me along the way. Ok, more like "watch out for your dad's truck!" "Turn your wheel, no way more than that!" and "Watch out for your mom's car!" Well, two seconds later, I hear a smash. OH GOD! What did I hit now? I think to myself. Umm...Matt's truck. Yep, I hit Matt's truck and smashed a hole in my bumper. I KNOW, I KNOW for anyone who has been reading my blogs, I just GOT this FRIGGIN CAR! I have only made one payment on it!! So, now I not only have a million dents in my hood and fender (NOT MY FAULT I would like to point out). I also have a hole in my bumper and it's not like I can say ice fell on my hood and then flew up in the air and smashed my bumper, can I?
Anyway, you think that is the end of my night? OH NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE! We drive home and I'm so upset that I've made further damaged to my very beautiful, well at least it was 6 weeks ago when we bought it, car. I pull around the corner by our house and notice a police car is following us. Now, THIS is why I mentioned the wine. For any of us who have driven after a couple glasses of wine, you know the panic you feel when you see a cop following you. Now, I was not drunk or over the limit at all (I swear Nannie) but, you still freak out. So, my heart is pounding and I turn the corner to our road and he is STILL behind us. I'm like, oh god, oh god. I pull into our driveway and oh yes, that cop pulls in behind me. I get out of the car and I feel like puking. He says "I just want to let you know that your tail light is out, but have a good night." PHEW!
So, do you think that is the end of my story? The end of my night? NOPE! We get into the house and it is freezing cold in there. Steven looks at the heaters and they are out. YES, you guessed it, we are out of propane and it's now 10pm and you all know Steven work for Proulx, Oil and freakin PROPANE and this is a really shameful thing to do if you work there. So, Steven opts to have us load the woodstove every 3 hours through the night in conjunction with waking up with the baby. It was wonderful by the way! Then, what do I do? I jump in the shower this morning and AHH!! It's freezing. Oh crap, I forgot we were out of propane! So, as I said, could it get any worse?
Picture it, Amy and Steven have a lovely dinner at the Carleton household, lots of laughter, fun and even singing! Which is pretty typical at the Carleton household. If you can believe it, I am the least outgoing of my family which makes for a pretty wild time.
Anywho, Steven and I get into the car at about 9pm last night. I did have a couple glasses of wine before dinner so I had to wait a bit before driving. Although, I enjoy my wine, I am very careful about driving especially with the baby. I had to mention that just in case, especially for nannie. I know how she worries about these things. So Nannie, I was very careful.
Ok, so I leave the house and I'm really not the best driver. I finally after driving for 15 years, will admit this. Hesitantly, but, ok I admit I really can't back up well. I don't understand how to use my mirrors. I've backed into many things in my lifetime including my friend's brother's BMW (drove away quickly), a fence (knocked it over and drove away quickly), snow banks (way too many times to count). I have yet to back into any people, so I guess it could be worse, right?
I digress as usual, so Steven was helping me back up guiding me along the way. Ok, more like "watch out for your dad's truck!" "Turn your wheel, no way more than that!" and "Watch out for your mom's car!" Well, two seconds later, I hear a smash. OH GOD! What did I hit now? I think to myself. Umm...Matt's truck. Yep, I hit Matt's truck and smashed a hole in my bumper. I KNOW, I KNOW for anyone who has been reading my blogs, I just GOT this FRIGGIN CAR! I have only made one payment on it!! So, now I not only have a million dents in my hood and fender (NOT MY FAULT I would like to point out). I also have a hole in my bumper and it's not like I can say ice fell on my hood and then flew up in the air and smashed my bumper, can I?
Anyway, you think that is the end of my night? OH NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE! We drive home and I'm so upset that I've made further damaged to my very beautiful, well at least it was 6 weeks ago when we bought it, car. I pull around the corner by our house and notice a police car is following us. Now, THIS is why I mentioned the wine. For any of us who have driven after a couple glasses of wine, you know the panic you feel when you see a cop following you. Now, I was not drunk or over the limit at all (I swear Nannie) but, you still freak out. So, my heart is pounding and I turn the corner to our road and he is STILL behind us. I'm like, oh god, oh god. I pull into our driveway and oh yes, that cop pulls in behind me. I get out of the car and I feel like puking. He says "I just want to let you know that your tail light is out, but have a good night." PHEW!
So, do you think that is the end of my story? The end of my night? NOPE! We get into the house and it is freezing cold in there. Steven looks at the heaters and they are out. YES, you guessed it, we are out of propane and it's now 10pm and you all know Steven work for Proulx, Oil and freakin PROPANE and this is a really shameful thing to do if you work there. So, Steven opts to have us load the woodstove every 3 hours through the night in conjunction with waking up with the baby. It was wonderful by the way! Then, what do I do? I jump in the shower this morning and AHH!! It's freezing. Oh crap, I forgot we were out of propane! So, as I said, could it get any worse?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Why Do Some Women Have to be SUCH BIG Female Dogs?
Ok, I know I'm digressing from my devil baby birth but, I promise I will get back to it. I just wanted to share because I'm kind of pissed right now.
So, I'm not a bad person really, I mean I gossip too much and yes we all know I can be OTT (over the top) sometimes but, I try to be friendly and kind most of the time and I'm just sensitive enough that I can't stand it when someone doesn't like me and it drive me nuts. I keep being like "ok, well screw them I can't make them like me" and then the next second I'm kissing their butts and being so disgustingly sweet I actually hate myself. It's just revolting.
So, here is the deal. I started a new job as some of you know and there are a few women that from the beginning have given me the cold shoulder and I just couldn't figure it out.
So, it all started on my first day really. I know my first day! Seriously people! Like being laid off when you just had a baby, having to find a new job, leaving your baby to go back to work, isn't tough enough, I have to deal with these biatches. Anyway, first the girl that showed me around, the HR girl was far from friendly and then the girl who was training me was talking so fast and being so nasty that I couldn't even understand what she was saying. I'm like, what the hell? To top it off, the IT lady who was getting me set up on my computer was nasty too! I just wanted to run and cry. I'm really not good with mean people. My sister is great. She will tell someone off in a second or just beat the crap out of them. She doesn't back down at all. I wish I was more like that. Ok sooo, I had to figure out where to pump and I didn't know who to ask and well I didn't really have many options so I picked the mean HR girl because she was in HR and I figured she might know about that stuff and when I asked her. She was like "What?" "I don't know what you are going to do about that!" and so I'm like "there has got to be other people that have babies and have to pump" and she says "I don't know of any" So, she's like "well how long are you going to have to do it?" like I'm a big inconvenience and I'm thinking oh god I am so out of here meaning they are going to fire me. I'm like "I don't know, like at least until my baby is six months is my plan" so she says all annoyed "WELL, how OFTEN are you going to have to do it?" I'm like "well once a day should do and I'll do it during my lunch break" I'm now turning red because I'm embarassed and kind of ticked off and I know it's against the law if they won't accomodate me and I feel like saying that but, of course I don't. SO, I guess she wasn't the best person to ask!!
So, back to the training girl. SO, I get her talking by asking her about herself and I know you are thinking, why are you making the effort Amy, right? I can't help myself! I'm nuts or something! So, we kind of bond a bit and talk some girl talk and I'm like ok, she's warming up to me. Cool! Well, during our girl talk she says "The hard thing is, and not that I hold it against you (and you KNOW anytime a person says that they SO DO hold it against you) but, I wanted your job and I didn't get. OH friggin great AND she's training me. Do I trust she is going to tell me the right things? ummmm...hell NO! So, anyway, we do bond a bit and she got out the secret and I think maybe she likes me now. Um, no she doesn't, still doesn't. She gives me dirty looks and stuff. She was in the hospital sick and I wrote her an e-mail saying I hope she was ok and to let me know if she needed anything and blah blah blah (I know I am so revolting) and she didn't even respond. She didn't even say thanks for the e-mail when she got back. Didn't even mention it. Every once in a while she is nice to me but, I think it is by accident or something.
So, that's the HR and the training girl. What about the IT lady? She is really mean to me too and she is probably the most bitchy of them all. But, you know what just happened? I walked into the break room and IT biatch is talking to training biatch and they are all smiling and happy and nicey nice and I'm thinking I really hate them! They don't even acknowledge my presence in this tiny break room and I just get my water and I'm like "screw them, if they want to be mean, I'll be mean right back. I'll give them a taste of their own medicine!" and then I go to leave and they look at me as I pass them with their bitchy faces on and what do I do??? What do I do?? I give them a big nicey nice smile. What is my freaking problem? All I can say is, I have issues.
So, I'm not a bad person really, I mean I gossip too much and yes we all know I can be OTT (over the top) sometimes but, I try to be friendly and kind most of the time and I'm just sensitive enough that I can't stand it when someone doesn't like me and it drive me nuts. I keep being like "ok, well screw them I can't make them like me" and then the next second I'm kissing their butts and being so disgustingly sweet I actually hate myself. It's just revolting.
So, here is the deal. I started a new job as some of you know and there are a few women that from the beginning have given me the cold shoulder and I just couldn't figure it out.
So, it all started on my first day really. I know my first day! Seriously people! Like being laid off when you just had a baby, having to find a new job, leaving your baby to go back to work, isn't tough enough, I have to deal with these biatches. Anyway, first the girl that showed me around, the HR girl was far from friendly and then the girl who was training me was talking so fast and being so nasty that I couldn't even understand what she was saying. I'm like, what the hell? To top it off, the IT lady who was getting me set up on my computer was nasty too! I just wanted to run and cry. I'm really not good with mean people. My sister is great. She will tell someone off in a second or just beat the crap out of them. She doesn't back down at all. I wish I was more like that. Ok sooo, I had to figure out where to pump and I didn't know who to ask and well I didn't really have many options so I picked the mean HR girl because she was in HR and I figured she might know about that stuff and when I asked her. She was like "What?" "I don't know what you are going to do about that!" and so I'm like "there has got to be other people that have babies and have to pump" and she says "I don't know of any" So, she's like "well how long are you going to have to do it?" like I'm a big inconvenience and I'm thinking oh god I am so out of here meaning they are going to fire me. I'm like "I don't know, like at least until my baby is six months is my plan" so she says all annoyed "WELL, how OFTEN are you going to have to do it?" I'm like "well once a day should do and I'll do it during my lunch break" I'm now turning red because I'm embarassed and kind of ticked off and I know it's against the law if they won't accomodate me and I feel like saying that but, of course I don't. SO, I guess she wasn't the best person to ask!!
So, back to the training girl. SO, I get her talking by asking her about herself and I know you are thinking, why are you making the effort Amy, right? I can't help myself! I'm nuts or something! So, we kind of bond a bit and talk some girl talk and I'm like ok, she's warming up to me. Cool! Well, during our girl talk she says "The hard thing is, and not that I hold it against you (and you KNOW anytime a person says that they SO DO hold it against you) but, I wanted your job and I didn't get. OH friggin great AND she's training me. Do I trust she is going to tell me the right things? ummmm...hell NO! So, anyway, we do bond a bit and she got out the secret and I think maybe she likes me now. Um, no she doesn't, still doesn't. She gives me dirty looks and stuff. She was in the hospital sick and I wrote her an e-mail saying I hope she was ok and to let me know if she needed anything and blah blah blah (I know I am so revolting) and she didn't even respond. She didn't even say thanks for the e-mail when she got back. Didn't even mention it. Every once in a while she is nice to me but, I think it is by accident or something.
So, that's the HR and the training girl. What about the IT lady? She is really mean to me too and she is probably the most bitchy of them all. But, you know what just happened? I walked into the break room and IT biatch is talking to training biatch and they are all smiling and happy and nicey nice and I'm thinking I really hate them! They don't even acknowledge my presence in this tiny break room and I just get my water and I'm like "screw them, if they want to be mean, I'll be mean right back. I'll give them a taste of their own medicine!" and then I go to leave and they look at me as I pass them with their bitchy faces on and what do I do??? What do I do?? I give them a big nicey nice smile. What is my freaking problem? All I can say is, I have issues.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Miracle of Birth
So, Mimi..ask and you shall receive. Although, me telling this story might have to be continued because I think this may be a long one. Oh, BTW, Mimi I just got what you meant by Steven crawling down the hole and you are friggin hilarious!!! I love it.
Anyway, so let me start from the beginning, of the delivery I mean. Towards the end of my pregnancy I got really huge. Like HUGE! I started to get nervous that maybe Papa's wish had come true and I really WAS carrying twins. I was envisioning one baby hiding behind the other during the ultrasound and everything. I know, ridiculous but, I just was so huge. I went to the docs and confirmed. At 26 weeks prego, I was measuring like I was 30, so I went in for an ultrasound.
I was really excited to get another ultrasound but, also really freaked out that maybe there were TWINS in there and well, I was nervous about my motherly instincts to begin with let alone having two infants. I don't even like babies! I still don't actually but, I love little Stevie. It's true, it's different when it's your own or translate to Amy language, you can't back out at that point and well you have no friggin choice do you? Then, after a couple months,they grow on you and all.
Anyway, back to the delivery info. SO, I get my ultrasound and I'm envisioning 2 babies or 11 pounds of big honking baby in there and what do I see? It was scary, it was really friggin scary. I was having Rosemary's baby! SERIOUSLY, the ultra sound lady is scanning over the baby and she is like oh "look it's an eye and she prints it out" I'm like "OMG, that is not a human eye, that thing is the devil!" I envisioned that seen in Rosemary's baby when she sees her baby and they show his eyes and they are all evil looking and scary and that is EXACTLY what this ultrasound picture looks like. I wish I could scan it and show it to you to prove it but, I don't have a scanner. BUT, I did show it to my family and they agreed. I was either having Rosemary's baby or a Cyclops! No lie! So, now I'm freaked out of course and I'm thinking oh no, I'm having an ugly baby. Like in that episode of Seinfeld when their friends baby is really ugly and they keep saying "What a baby!" That is what I thought was going to happen to me.
Anyway, after the ultrasound it was determined that everything was normal (yeah right, Rosemary!) and I could continue with the pregnancy as planned until the devil baby was born. Ok, gotta stop here. Steven is complaining that I'm not spending any time with him and I'm hanging out on the computer, jerk! Ok, I told you this would be a To be continued so......
Anyway, so let me start from the beginning, of the delivery I mean. Towards the end of my pregnancy I got really huge. Like HUGE! I started to get nervous that maybe Papa's wish had come true and I really WAS carrying twins. I was envisioning one baby hiding behind the other during the ultrasound and everything. I know, ridiculous but, I just was so huge. I went to the docs and confirmed. At 26 weeks prego, I was measuring like I was 30, so I went in for an ultrasound.
I was really excited to get another ultrasound but, also really freaked out that maybe there were TWINS in there and well, I was nervous about my motherly instincts to begin with let alone having two infants. I don't even like babies! I still don't actually but, I love little Stevie. It's true, it's different when it's your own or translate to Amy language, you can't back out at that point and well you have no friggin choice do you? Then, after a couple months,they grow on you and all.
Anyway, back to the delivery info. SO, I get my ultrasound and I'm envisioning 2 babies or 11 pounds of big honking baby in there and what do I see? It was scary, it was really friggin scary. I was having Rosemary's baby! SERIOUSLY, the ultra sound lady is scanning over the baby and she is like oh "look it's an eye and she prints it out" I'm like "OMG, that is not a human eye, that thing is the devil!" I envisioned that seen in Rosemary's baby when she sees her baby and they show his eyes and they are all evil looking and scary and that is EXACTLY what this ultrasound picture looks like. I wish I could scan it and show it to you to prove it but, I don't have a scanner. BUT, I did show it to my family and they agreed. I was either having Rosemary's baby or a Cyclops! No lie! So, now I'm freaked out of course and I'm thinking oh no, I'm having an ugly baby. Like in that episode of Seinfeld when their friends baby is really ugly and they keep saying "What a baby!" That is what I thought was going to happen to me.
Anyway, after the ultrasound it was determined that everything was normal (yeah right, Rosemary!) and I could continue with the pregnancy as planned until the devil baby was born. Ok, gotta stop here. Steven is complaining that I'm not spending any time with him and I'm hanging out on the computer, jerk! Ok, I told you this would be a To be continued so......
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