So, last night I went out with my friend and former co-worker, Robin and had such a good time. We shared a couple appetizers and drank lots of wine it was great and you know what? My husband was awesome!! He took care of the baby, didn't complain when I came home buzzed and started drinking more wine, made me dinner AND didn't get mad when I waited until I finished my wine to eat. Now that is seriously awesome. Anyway, I just wanted to say how awesome he is!
Ok, so here is my question of the day to the lovely ladies out there. I've been wondering this for a while and I figure what better way to get answers than to share it on my blog.
Now, I was talking to a friend a few months ago and she said she would NEVER wipe her ghine when she gets out of the shower with a towel because think of the bacteria that could be on the towel and then you wipe it on your ghine and you end up with some nasty infection. She said she just lets it air dry. Now, I'm thinking to myself, OH GOD, I always wipe otherwise, I would feel all water logged and stuff. Plus, what if you had leftover soap or something up there, wouldn't that be worse? But, then I began wondering if I was the only one who wiped their gine, just to clarify, I'm talking a quick but efficient swipe inside the gine not just outside. So, anyway ladies, what's the consensus? To Wipe or Not to Wipe, that is the question????
BTW, Cammie, sorry about the throbbing manhood. You can commiserate with Molanki, she has really had to hear alot of stuff you never want to hear about your brother. But, does that ever stop me?? Of course not!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Like a Virgin Touched for the Very Last Time
Ok, so Michelle said I should write about this and I have been nervous about this subject. I know, me, nervous about writing about anything is a shock for you guys but, I'm putting this out there and if it's too much (like any of my other posts haven't been too much?) you can blame my dear old sister-in-law and BFF Molanki!
Ok, so I guess I never thought about what could happen during childbirth, really what I mean is what could happen after childbirth. I think I was totally in shock about the fact that I had to go through 17 hours of labor and then have like a month of pain afterward, well actually more like 4 months of pain afterward, but I will explain later. After I had the baby, I sat in the shower for like 2 hours, I seriously think I had PTSD. I couldn't believe what had happened to me!! Ok, I digress, back to the subject at hand.
Remember back to the time when losing your virginity held such magic? You wondered who it would be with? You kind of realistically knew there wouldn't be fireworks but, you still sort of hoped for it. You read the romance novels with the savages and ravishing the red head beauty and you invisioned, even though you were no where near like the character in the novel, that it was you. That it was you lying there in the full moon with your white alabaster breast heaving in the tee-pee shaking with anticipation and your lover comes with his throbbing manhood and....well you know how it goes.
Then, reality hits, there is no tee-pee and his strong hands don't caress your body. It's mostly fumbling and awkward and "OW! What the hell?" That is not what I expected at all. Anyway, girls, I got to experience it twice. Much to the delight of my husband and horror to myself.
Let's just say, I received many stitches after the baby was born and as I healed something didn't feel quite right. The hole was there and all but, before there was no skin. Now, the skin was there before the end of things. When I first felt it I thought, oh I'm just healing from everything but, as time went on, things still weren't hey ho, hey ho. I went to the docs and they said everything was fine. They actually said "after birth some women have it easy and some women don't" and with a smile she said "I guess you won't have it easy but keep working at it." I wanted to take that speculum she was clicking in my hoo=hoo and stick it down her m)*&&^ F877ing throat!!!!
Anyway, I tried to be all I could be, I climbed every mountain, I really tried. I tried as in, lubs (which I'm allergic to by the way, not cool), visualization, relaxation. It was horrible. It was like I was a virgin again but, worse because this was skin not meant to rip. My husband was very patient but, well he's a man and every once in a while, bit off a little more than I could chew let's say.
But, everyone, FINALLY four months later. I've had success. I've done it and no it's not like my apache man has come to ravish me but, I'm back to normal. Kind of but really close to normal. I really hate that doctor who sewed me up and you know what? She was pregnant too and I can't help but hope it was her first and she ripped and someone sewed her up too! Ok, sorry but it's true, I'm not going to mince words. Do I ever? Ok, so I had success, woo hooo! Back to the grab my boob, kiss me and think I'm ready fun. Oh damn! Maybe I should have plead the fifth after all!
Ok, so I guess I never thought about what could happen during childbirth, really what I mean is what could happen after childbirth. I think I was totally in shock about the fact that I had to go through 17 hours of labor and then have like a month of pain afterward, well actually more like 4 months of pain afterward, but I will explain later. After I had the baby, I sat in the shower for like 2 hours, I seriously think I had PTSD. I couldn't believe what had happened to me!! Ok, I digress, back to the subject at hand.
Remember back to the time when losing your virginity held such magic? You wondered who it would be with? You kind of realistically knew there wouldn't be fireworks but, you still sort of hoped for it. You read the romance novels with the savages and ravishing the red head beauty and you invisioned, even though you were no where near like the character in the novel, that it was you. That it was you lying there in the full moon with your white alabaster breast heaving in the tee-pee shaking with anticipation and your lover comes with his throbbing manhood and....well you know how it goes.
Then, reality hits, there is no tee-pee and his strong hands don't caress your body. It's mostly fumbling and awkward and "OW! What the hell?" That is not what I expected at all. Anyway, girls, I got to experience it twice. Much to the delight of my husband and horror to myself.
Let's just say, I received many stitches after the baby was born and as I healed something didn't feel quite right. The hole was there and all but, before there was no skin. Now, the skin was there before the end of things. When I first felt it I thought, oh I'm just healing from everything but, as time went on, things still weren't hey ho, hey ho. I went to the docs and they said everything was fine. They actually said "after birth some women have it easy and some women don't" and with a smile she said "I guess you won't have it easy but keep working at it." I wanted to take that speculum she was clicking in my hoo=hoo and stick it down her m)*&&^ F877ing throat!!!!
Anyway, I tried to be all I could be, I climbed every mountain, I really tried. I tried as in, lubs (which I'm allergic to by the way, not cool), visualization, relaxation. It was horrible. It was like I was a virgin again but, worse because this was skin not meant to rip. My husband was very patient but, well he's a man and every once in a while, bit off a little more than I could chew let's say.
But, everyone, FINALLY four months later. I've had success. I've done it and no it's not like my apache man has come to ravish me but, I'm back to normal. Kind of but really close to normal. I really hate that doctor who sewed me up and you know what? She was pregnant too and I can't help but hope it was her first and she ripped and someone sewed her up too! Ok, sorry but it's true, I'm not going to mince words. Do I ever? Ok, so I had success, woo hooo! Back to the grab my boob, kiss me and think I'm ready fun. Oh damn! Maybe I should have plead the fifth after all!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Can You Spare a Square?
Today I would like to talk about the real hassle of toilet paper, yes toilet paper not that I don't want to wipe or anything but, REALLY it can be such a hassle. Here a few things that I would like to say about toilet paper and wiping in general.
-I hate when you sit down and go poop and then realize there is no toilet paper, you look around for anything tissues, napkin anything. I'm not going to lie, here is the gods honest truth, this happened to me recently and I was home alone for once and I went through the trash and found an old breast pad and wiped my butt with it. I had to! It was actually quite pleasant all soft and absorbent.
-Ever go into a public restroom with those economy size roles in the big plastic thing and you can't get the toilet paper to come off the role? You keep rolling and rolling and it won't come off. Round and round and round and you can't reach your hand up there to take it off the thing so you just have to keep going around until it comes off. Plus, sometimes that plastic thing that goes across is sharp and hurts your hand! This just happened to me and I was so annoyed that it motivated me to write this blog today.
-Don't you hate when you just can't seem to get the poo off your bum. You wipe and wipe and wipe and suddenly your butt is bleeding and sore and you still have poo on the toilet paper. Come on! We all look to see what's on that paper!
-What about when you don't wipe enough? You're in a rush, you're somewhere gross and can't wait to get out of there so you wipe so quickly that there are still some remnants and it starts to feel uncomfortable and stingy and you know EXACTLY what it is and you know when you look at your under wear the next time there will be a little remnant of what you didn't take care of.
-What about when you roll the toilet paper and it comes off the role like amazing quickly and scatters all over the floor and all you really want to do is gather that stuff up and flush it but, you can't because not only will it clog the toilet but, it's a waste of paper so you take the time and annoyingly wrap it back onto the roll and then you have this big round mound sticking on your roll which won't roll around!
-What about when you have remnants on your hoo-hoo and it balls up and sticks to the hair and you have to yank it off and yowsah, that hurts! Or even worse, you go to have a romantic night with your significant other and they are like, YUCK! You got TP on your hoo hoo!
One more before I go, don't you hate when you are wiping and toilet paper rips and you get poop on your finger! That is by far the grossest I think. No one wants poop on their finger unless they are like 2 and then they can't get enough poop on their finger!
-I hate when you sit down and go poop and then realize there is no toilet paper, you look around for anything tissues, napkin anything. I'm not going to lie, here is the gods honest truth, this happened to me recently and I was home alone for once and I went through the trash and found an old breast pad and wiped my butt with it. I had to! It was actually quite pleasant all soft and absorbent.
-Ever go into a public restroom with those economy size roles in the big plastic thing and you can't get the toilet paper to come off the role? You keep rolling and rolling and it won't come off. Round and round and round and you can't reach your hand up there to take it off the thing so you just have to keep going around until it comes off. Plus, sometimes that plastic thing that goes across is sharp and hurts your hand! This just happened to me and I was so annoyed that it motivated me to write this blog today.
-Don't you hate when you just can't seem to get the poo off your bum. You wipe and wipe and wipe and suddenly your butt is bleeding and sore and you still have poo on the toilet paper. Come on! We all look to see what's on that paper!
-What about when you don't wipe enough? You're in a rush, you're somewhere gross and can't wait to get out of there so you wipe so quickly that there are still some remnants and it starts to feel uncomfortable and stingy and you know EXACTLY what it is and you know when you look at your under wear the next time there will be a little remnant of what you didn't take care of.
-What about when you roll the toilet paper and it comes off the role like amazing quickly and scatters all over the floor and all you really want to do is gather that stuff up and flush it but, you can't because not only will it clog the toilet but, it's a waste of paper so you take the time and annoyingly wrap it back onto the roll and then you have this big round mound sticking on your roll which won't roll around!
-What about when you have remnants on your hoo-hoo and it balls up and sticks to the hair and you have to yank it off and yowsah, that hurts! Or even worse, you go to have a romantic night with your significant other and they are like, YUCK! You got TP on your hoo hoo!
One more before I go, don't you hate when you are wiping and toilet paper rips and you get poop on your finger! That is by far the grossest I think. No one wants poop on their finger unless they are like 2 and then they can't get enough poop on their finger!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
"Spaghetti and Meat Bulbs"
Remember "The Family Circus" cartoon. I loved those cartoons and also I had the book which was called "Spaghetti and Meat Bulbs" and had tons of the cartoons in it and was so funny. I was thinking today that I can't wait until Little Stevie is old enough to talk and say funny things. So, I thought I would share a few things that my neices and nephews have said over the years that are just so funny to me.
I'll start off with a quote from Ian that I find hilarious! Ian said to his teacher on his first day of school after walking up and down checking out the different activities going on...
"Seriously, there is NOTHING to do here!"
My nephew Michael was walking through the store with his mom when he began staring at a quite unattractive woman. Nikki tried to pull him away but, before she could his little mouth opened and yelled...
"Lady, you are UGLY!"
One time I was sitting in one of those sun chairs with the the plastic strips in the back and Payden my neice said...
"Cool! Makayla come look! Aunty's fat is squishing out of the holes in the back of this chair, see!" and she began poking and pinching the fat coming through to further demonstrate!
Another quote from Payden. We always say grace on holidays and my dad always starts off with "Thank you Dear Lord." Well one year Payden decided she wanted to say grace so she put her little hands together and bowed her head and said "Thank you dear Lo.." At this point she stopped and thought then shook her head as if she remembered now. She opened her mouth again and said...
"Thank you Dear Lock..."
Yet another quote from Payden, a recent one. When little Stevie was born we were trying to think of what to call him as he is a junior. Once we came up with Little Stevie Payden said..
"We'll call him Little Stevie now but, when he grows up and gets big we'll call him UNCLE Steven."
Ok, it wouldn't be me if I didn't add a few, just over the line one's so here they are. Just a warning to any sensitive readers!
After I had the baby, I stayed at my parents for a couple of days while everyone cleaned and finished the addition in the house which was so awesome. Anyway, I had to go to the bathroom and I had a seperate trash bag for all my, let's say, panty materials (see my other blog about post pardum periods for further information) Well, my neice Makayla had to go after me and I had forgotten to take my trash out. She came out all horrified and wispered to her mother her eyes all wide...
"I went into the bathroom after Aunty and she left her garbage bag in there and I looked in and it was all BLOOD and stuff! It even smelled really yucky!"
Here is a real old one from when I was a kid. I used to sleep over my neighbor/friend Chris's house with Harris and myself. One night, the two boys were trying to figure out what Maxi-pads were for because Chris had found some under the sink. Chris said "I think it has something to do with blood because I saw my mom have one on her underwear once and I think it had blood on it." Harris said "No Chris, don't be dumb! It is to hold in all the hair down there!"
I'll finish with one final risque one. My nephew Brandon was playing with his "you know what" one day in the living room. Now, his mother trying to be political and open explained that he could do those things in his room with the door shut in private but, not out in the living room or in public. Brandon shrugged and turned to his brother Michael who was playing a video game and said..
"Hey Michael, you want to go in our room and play with our penises?" Michael, not even looking up from his video game and continuing to play said in response, "Nah."
I'll start off with a quote from Ian that I find hilarious! Ian said to his teacher on his first day of school after walking up and down checking out the different activities going on...
"Seriously, there is NOTHING to do here!"
My nephew Michael was walking through the store with his mom when he began staring at a quite unattractive woman. Nikki tried to pull him away but, before she could his little mouth opened and yelled...
"Lady, you are UGLY!"
One time I was sitting in one of those sun chairs with the the plastic strips in the back and Payden my neice said...
"Cool! Makayla come look! Aunty's fat is squishing out of the holes in the back of this chair, see!" and she began poking and pinching the fat coming through to further demonstrate!
Another quote from Payden. We always say grace on holidays and my dad always starts off with "Thank you Dear Lord." Well one year Payden decided she wanted to say grace so she put her little hands together and bowed her head and said "Thank you dear Lo.." At this point she stopped and thought then shook her head as if she remembered now. She opened her mouth again and said...
"Thank you Dear Lock..."
Yet another quote from Payden, a recent one. When little Stevie was born we were trying to think of what to call him as he is a junior. Once we came up with Little Stevie Payden said..
"We'll call him Little Stevie now but, when he grows up and gets big we'll call him UNCLE Steven."
Ok, it wouldn't be me if I didn't add a few, just over the line one's so here they are. Just a warning to any sensitive readers!
After I had the baby, I stayed at my parents for a couple of days while everyone cleaned and finished the addition in the house which was so awesome. Anyway, I had to go to the bathroom and I had a seperate trash bag for all my, let's say, panty materials (see my other blog about post pardum periods for further information) Well, my neice Makayla had to go after me and I had forgotten to take my trash out. She came out all horrified and wispered to her mother her eyes all wide...
"I went into the bathroom after Aunty and she left her garbage bag in there and I looked in and it was all BLOOD and stuff! It even smelled really yucky!"
Here is a real old one from when I was a kid. I used to sleep over my neighbor/friend Chris's house with Harris and myself. One night, the two boys were trying to figure out what Maxi-pads were for because Chris had found some under the sink. Chris said "I think it has something to do with blood because I saw my mom have one on her underwear once and I think it had blood on it." Harris said "No Chris, don't be dumb! It is to hold in all the hair down there!"
I'll finish with one final risque one. My nephew Brandon was playing with his "you know what" one day in the living room. Now, his mother trying to be political and open explained that he could do those things in his room with the door shut in private but, not out in the living room or in public. Brandon shrugged and turned to his brother Michael who was playing a video game and said..
"Hey Michael, you want to go in our room and play with our penises?" Michael, not even looking up from his video game and continuing to play said in response, "Nah."
Monday, January 5, 2009
Thank You!
I just want to say thank you so much to Cam and Mimi for being my first comments!
It is very exciting to get comments I have to say. Now, Michelle, you slack butt, you better start commenting! How am I supposed to get discovered if I don't have any comments? I mean we already established I'm not going to get discovered by singing, tap dancing (oh god seriously, remember our instructor.."is that real tap dancing?", acting, skiing, snowboarding (as if skiing wasn't a disaster I had to try something even harder), saxophone (I could barely play my 5 note solo senior year after 12 years of playing), piano, basketball, volleyball, horse-back riding (if only I didn't pee every time I tried and pulled on the reins a little harder so my horse wouldn't wander off into the woods while I smack my head on low hanging branches), fishing, cooking, anything crafty, pictures (I once took 100 photos of a single rose picturing those pictures with the morning dew on the beautiful red rose and they were all blurry or had my finger in them), modeling (although I have to say I ROCK the "America's Next Top Model" runway walk, right everyone?) and any other hobby or talent I have attempted and thought, maybe I'll be a natural and get discovered! So, again, people including my BFF and prego sister-in-law you just have to comment so I can get discovered!
It is very exciting to get comments I have to say. Now, Michelle, you slack butt, you better start commenting! How am I supposed to get discovered if I don't have any comments? I mean we already established I'm not going to get discovered by singing, tap dancing (oh god seriously, remember our instructor.."is that real tap dancing?", acting, skiing, snowboarding (as if skiing wasn't a disaster I had to try something even harder), saxophone (I could barely play my 5 note solo senior year after 12 years of playing), piano, basketball, volleyball, horse-back riding (if only I didn't pee every time I tried and pulled on the reins a little harder so my horse wouldn't wander off into the woods while I smack my head on low hanging branches), fishing, cooking, anything crafty, pictures (I once took 100 photos of a single rose picturing those pictures with the morning dew on the beautiful red rose and they were all blurry or had my finger in them), modeling (although I have to say I ROCK the "America's Next Top Model" runway walk, right everyone?) and any other hobby or talent I have attempted and thought, maybe I'll be a natural and get discovered! So, again, people including my BFF and prego sister-in-law you just have to comment so I can get discovered!
Shaking Booby Syndrome
Ok, so this story happened a while ago but, I forgot about it until today and I wanted to put it on my blog because I think it is hilarious!
Ok, so anyway, I think we have established the fact that Steven is AWFUL at night and never wakes up so this is a little tid bit to show you what I mean.
A couple months ago, I was sleeping, yes actually sleeping for once when all of the sudden I was awoken by a very odd sensation. My husband had a hold of my boob and was shaking it up and down quite vigirously. I'm thinking to myself "What the???" when all of the sudden it starts getting weirder. He starts feeling my nipple and not in a pleasant way and pinching and twisting it. I'm like "ok, first of all if this is some new tantric method he heard about, it's not working" and second of all "you jerk, I'm sleeping for once and you think you are going to get some action?" Well, this shaking and pinching continues for a few more seconds and I've had enough. I smack his hand away and elbow him hard and say "CUT IT OUT!" A statement he is not unused to. He groggily says "What?" I say again "CUT IT OUT, What the hell?" So, he stops and all is quiet for a few minutes until I hear him start busting out laughing, like gut wrenching laughter and I'm annoyed at first. "What is it now?" I say to him. He says, "I can't believe what just happened. I had a dream that the baby was crying and I was rocking him to sleep when suddenly his belly button felt really weird, I touched it and it started growing and changing shape so I started feeling it some more, pinching it and moving it around because I was really freaked out that maybe it never healed right and it was coming out and his stomach and guts might come out and stuff. All the sudden you woke me up and you were yelling at me to stop shaking your boob and pinching your nipple!! Even in my exhausted state this was hilarious. We both started laughing so hard for like 10 minutes I was literally crying! I'm going to call it "Shaking Booby Syndrome." :)
Ok, so anyway, I think we have established the fact that Steven is AWFUL at night and never wakes up so this is a little tid bit to show you what I mean.
A couple months ago, I was sleeping, yes actually sleeping for once when all of the sudden I was awoken by a very odd sensation. My husband had a hold of my boob and was shaking it up and down quite vigirously. I'm thinking to myself "What the???" when all of the sudden it starts getting weirder. He starts feeling my nipple and not in a pleasant way and pinching and twisting it. I'm like "ok, first of all if this is some new tantric method he heard about, it's not working" and second of all "you jerk, I'm sleeping for once and you think you are going to get some action?" Well, this shaking and pinching continues for a few more seconds and I've had enough. I smack his hand away and elbow him hard and say "CUT IT OUT!" A statement he is not unused to. He groggily says "What?" I say again "CUT IT OUT, What the hell?" So, he stops and all is quiet for a few minutes until I hear him start busting out laughing, like gut wrenching laughter and I'm annoyed at first. "What is it now?" I say to him. He says, "I can't believe what just happened. I had a dream that the baby was crying and I was rocking him to sleep when suddenly his belly button felt really weird, I touched it and it started growing and changing shape so I started feeling it some more, pinching it and moving it around because I was really freaked out that maybe it never healed right and it was coming out and his stomach and guts might come out and stuff. All the sudden you woke me up and you were yelling at me to stop shaking your boob and pinching your nipple!! Even in my exhausted state this was hilarious. We both started laughing so hard for like 10 minutes I was literally crying! I'm going to call it "Shaking Booby Syndrome." :)
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Fascinating World of Breastmilk
Ok, first I would like to start off by saying, Greg if you are reading this, stop because it is a subject you don't like to talk about. Ok, so back to the topic at hand. Breastmilk. I'm fascinated by it, by the production of it, by the whole topic of it. It's been four months since I started pumping and it still fascinates me. What is it that fascinates me you ask? Well, of course it's me and I'm going to tell you in great detail.
1. the most normal of the things, it fascinates me that I can produce food, actual food, that has made my baby grow and gain weight. He has gone from 8 to almost 14 pounds, living off something that comes from my boob. Crazy! I could actually make kinds of food, cheese, icecream and yogurt. I know gross, nevermind.
2. I can't believe it comes out of my boob and has many holes, who knew! I like to count when I am pumping. I have determined that my left boob contains 10 holes and my right contains 8 which is weird because my right boob pumps the most milk. Amazing!
3. You can squirt breast milk out of your boob really far! I became a little obsessed with this for a while, squirting at Steven and at objects like a target. Then, I had to limit it to the shower because, well it's milk and gets sour and stinky. Woops! Should have thought of that before. But, I now totally understand why little boys when first potty training squirt it all over the place, I mean it's really cool to be able to squirt stuff and see how far you can squirt it.
4. People actually pay to get something you produce for FREE! SO COOL!
5. I read that PETA was trying to get Ben and Jerry's to make icecream out of it and I thought gross but, then I thought I eat eggs out of a chickens hoo-hoo and drink milk from a dirty old cow teat, so what's the difference? Yeah I know, I still can't get over it either but, if Ben and Jerry's needs to hire people for it, I would be a great candidate and if you work at Ben and Jerry's you get like up to 3 pints of free icecream a day! Only cow milk icecream for me though.
6. Do you know how much creamer costs? It's like 3 something a bottle. I know it would be the perfect creamer. It's milky and sweet and good for you too. I know it goes back to point #2 & #5. I just can't do it.
7. You burn calories pumping the stuff. BURN CALORIES! Like 500 a day. You can't even get that from running on the treadmill and all you have to do is sit there. I lost 20 pounds doing it. Move over Dexatrim! I'm seriously considering never stopping! If only pumping were more convenient at work...
Ok, I'm going to switch off for a second to the topic of pumping at work. OMG, it is so inconvenient. I work at a navy yard and I have to park far away from my car so I can't really do it there. Plus, there is tons of security and I'm sure if I sat in my car with that thing loudly pumping someone would think I had a bomb or something. I can just see security surrounding my car and asking me to put my hands up and well you can just visualize the rest. So, there really is no convenient place to do it. I do it in the conference room with a sign up and people try and peek in because they are so curious! I don't really blame them because I'm nosy myself but, HONESTLY! Also, I have to eat lunch all by my lonesome while pumping every day. But, still the whole calorie burning thing and feeding my baby does make it worth it.
I guess that is all I got for now. I'm off to go burn some calories!
1. the most normal of the things, it fascinates me that I can produce food, actual food, that has made my baby grow and gain weight. He has gone from 8 to almost 14 pounds, living off something that comes from my boob. Crazy! I could actually make kinds of food, cheese, icecream and yogurt. I know gross, nevermind.
2. I can't believe it comes out of my boob and has many holes, who knew! I like to count when I am pumping. I have determined that my left boob contains 10 holes and my right contains 8 which is weird because my right boob pumps the most milk. Amazing!
3. You can squirt breast milk out of your boob really far! I became a little obsessed with this for a while, squirting at Steven and at objects like a target. Then, I had to limit it to the shower because, well it's milk and gets sour and stinky. Woops! Should have thought of that before. But, I now totally understand why little boys when first potty training squirt it all over the place, I mean it's really cool to be able to squirt stuff and see how far you can squirt it.
4. People actually pay to get something you produce for FREE! SO COOL!
5. I read that PETA was trying to get Ben and Jerry's to make icecream out of it and I thought gross but, then I thought I eat eggs out of a chickens hoo-hoo and drink milk from a dirty old cow teat, so what's the difference? Yeah I know, I still can't get over it either but, if Ben and Jerry's needs to hire people for it, I would be a great candidate and if you work at Ben and Jerry's you get like up to 3 pints of free icecream a day! Only cow milk icecream for me though.
6. Do you know how much creamer costs? It's like 3 something a bottle. I know it would be the perfect creamer. It's milky and sweet and good for you too. I know it goes back to point #2 & #5. I just can't do it.
7. You burn calories pumping the stuff. BURN CALORIES! Like 500 a day. You can't even get that from running on the treadmill and all you have to do is sit there. I lost 20 pounds doing it. Move over Dexatrim! I'm seriously considering never stopping! If only pumping were more convenient at work...
Ok, I'm going to switch off for a second to the topic of pumping at work. OMG, it is so inconvenient. I work at a navy yard and I have to park far away from my car so I can't really do it there. Plus, there is tons of security and I'm sure if I sat in my car with that thing loudly pumping someone would think I had a bomb or something. I can just see security surrounding my car and asking me to put my hands up and well you can just visualize the rest. So, there really is no convenient place to do it. I do it in the conference room with a sign up and people try and peek in because they are so curious! I don't really blame them because I'm nosy myself but, HONESTLY! Also, I have to eat lunch all by my lonesome while pumping every day. But, still the whole calorie burning thing and feeding my baby does make it worth it.
I guess that is all I got for now. I'm off to go burn some calories!
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